Grasping for Stars
by Aespren
Summary: "Don't you think the stars are mean sometimes? They float above us, taunting us with a beauty always out of reach. It's just like the outside of the walls." Armin remembers the words clearly, recalling that night when they had just been innocent kids under the stars. On nights like these, it was all he could think about.


"Hey, Armin."

The boy whose name was spoken turned to the sound, giving his attention to his friend who lay in the grass beside him. The light from town was no longer visible, hidden by the ridges of the landscape, leaving them with only the light from the stars and moon above to see each other with. Eren's body was barely visible to him in the dark night, but his face was so close to his own that every feature could be made out even in the obscurity.

It was a rare occasion that either of their parents let them out this late at night, especially Eren's. Armin wondered if he had actually obtained permission or just snuck out again. He didn't dare to ask though, for if he did and found out the truth then it would be his responsibility to bring him back home. For just a moment longer he wanted to enjoy this time, regardless of the punishment he knew Carla would give each of them later.

Tonight, the stars in the sky above them felt brighter than he had ever seen them, and he knew that Eren wouldn't miss this moment to watch them with him even if his parents threatened to make him collect firewood everyday for the next month.

The green-eyed boy stretched out his hand above his head, grasping for the light above them. "Don't you think the stars are mean sometimes?"

"Huh?" The blond let out, his curiosity taking over the smile that had been resting on his face.

"They float above us but we can never reach them."

"How is that mean?"

"It's just like the outside of the walls. They're taunting us with beauty right out of our reach." Armin could hear the faint contempt in his voice. It was a tone he often made when talking about the world, when talking about the walls that surrounded them.

Armin turned his head back to the stars, pondering over the words. What Eren had said was true, even if he didn't want to believe it. ...But he found it hard to think of the light above him as evil, and an adage he had heard once long ago came drifting back into his memories.

"I remember my parents talked to me about the stars once. They told me that no matter where you go, you will always be able to see them at night." Armin smiled, remembering the imaginative images the words had originally struck into him. "They know because they told me that they once saw the night outside the walls, on a device that carried them up into the sky."

Armin raised his hand into the air in parallel with Eren's, reaching out alongside him towards the hope that glimmered above.

"So if you ask me... I think we already have the stars. No matter where we go, they'll always be with us."

Eren looked back up at the sky, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape. He always held this expression on his face when he learned something that he found interesting. Armin remembered it well from when they had looked through his book.

"We'll reach them one day." The green-eyed boy spoke, a new spark of idealism trailing along his words. Armin stared back at him, but soon turned his attention to their hands which still stretched up into the air. Their fingers now held entwined with each other, with a single index finger pointing up into the sky. "One day, you and I will reach out and grab one. We'll fly into the air like your parents until we find one close to the ground, and it will be ours."

Armin no longer knew if Eren was being optimistic or if he was actually being serious, but he felt his mouth shape into a smile anyway.

"It's a promise."

-oOo-

Armin pulled taut on the rope in his hands as Jean tied the other end around a nearby tree. Levi's squad had finally stopped for the night and the prior 104th trainees had been instructed to set up camp within the opening they had found in the forest. It had been almost a whole day since they had been forced to flee from their previous hideout, and it was only now that the night had taken over that the group was getting its first chance to rest.

So as Armin stood, waiting for Jean to do his job, he found himself staring at the sky. "The stars are beautiful from out here." Armin spoke, mostly to himself, as he gazed up at the lights shimmering above.

"Yeah, I guess so," was the reply that followed, though Armin noticed that Jean wasn't even looking.

Armin turned his attention back to the sky. The view was almost as breathtaking as the one from his childhood. The only thing lacking was the glaze of childhood innocence that made everything more beautiful.

"Can I tell you something?" Jean asked. Armin's eyes jumped over to his comrade. He had apparently finished his task and had joined him in gazing above. Armin smiled slightly, glad that he had managed to win him over. "I always secretly held an interest in knowing what was beyond the walls."

"Really?" The info was disarming to Armin, as he suspected it would be to anyone in their group. Afterall, despite Jean's unquestionable growth of character, he would never live down his reputation from their trainee days; of the arrogant boy that only cared about what lay further within the walls, cold to the horrors of the outside world. "That's rather random of you to bring up."

"Heh, yeah, I know. It's lame of me, but you reminded me of it. It was the stars that first made me curious. They're the only thing visible from within the walls that aren't a part of it." Jean made a slight grimace, as if he was ashamed of this tidbit of information. "It made me wonder... if I was up there, just what would I be able to see?"

Armin wasn't sure how to respond, but he was glad for the information, and perhaps slightly amused that Eren and Jean were even more similar than he had first realized. In the end he just spoke the first thing that came to mind, "That's surprisingly deep of you, Jean."

Jean's brow furrowed. "Hey, I can say stuff like this when I want to."

Armin decided not to comment, noticing the tone of disapproval in the other male's voice. He supposed that he had once again said something offending, but it had only been the most truthful thing to come to mind. Either way, the conversations the two of them often held with each other reached into territories that Armin had rarely ever been able to find with others his own age, and he didn't want to risk losing them by saying something that would only make the situation worse.

So when Jean decided to continue, after an irritated sigh, it made Armin both surprised and pleased. "It made me want to see what was outside. ...I just never had the balls to do anything about it. Instead, I just accepted that I would always be stuck in here and decided to move further inwards, and the outside would be something always out of reach like the stars."

Armin smiled and continued staring at the sky, the words reminding him of his days as a child and Eren's endless optimism. _We'll reach them one day..._

"What?"

Armin snapped back into attention. He had spoken the words outloud.

"You're not seriously that crazy, are you?" The brunet asked.

"Maybe not us per se, but one day humanity will. One day humanity will be free amongst the stars." Armin knew the words sounded crazy, like Jean had said, but he tried not to let that thought bother him.

"You actually believe that?" The tone was heavy with disbelief, but Armin didn't let it get to him.

"Someone very important once told that to me, so I have to."


End file.
